One day one of my colleagues asked my 11 year old son what his aim in life is. He just stared back at her without answering. So she asked again, “What do you want to become in life?” He answered politely, “I have not yet decided.” She smiled and advised him that he should decide it. When we came out he told me, “Daddy sometimes I think that I want to become a teacher like you. When I see an aeroplane, I feel that I should become an aeronautical engineer. When I study about the Universe, I feel that I should become a space scientist. So how can I decide about my career now?”
I told him, “You need not take any such decision right now. Enjoy your school life and study well. But whatever you study, understand the concepts well and never go for memorising without understanding. When you come to class 9 or 10, you will identify your field of interest. From that moment you can start preparing for realising your ambition.” At this point he asked me, “Daddy what do you want me to become?” I told him that I wish him to become an IAS officer. He has not assured me anything and that made me happy. Because, he is not in hurry to decide about his ambitions before identifying his field of interest.
Every parent wants their children to become a successful citizen in the society. So naturally we want them to study the most demanded courses. But how can we impose our unattained ambitions on them against their wish? They are going to live their own life, so they must decide about it. We can only guide them to explore the various options available to them.
I would not know anything about being a parent, but i do know that parents are meant to support a child and not see a child's life as a way to complete things that they could not do. A kid is whole another person, why live through someone else?
ReplyDeleteSuccessful has many definitions after all. Since when living became survival? We raise our kids to survive, to get the best jobs and earn a lot so they are never short of anything, so they can survive. But what about just simply living and going after what they actually love.
I feel you gave your kid a very good answer. He is just 11 years old. He just started thinking of everything he could be, let him dream a little before he actually goes after one of them :)
Thank U Ruhi.
ReplyDeleteSince when living became survival? A critical question to be answered.
A very common incident..This s a question which every child faces from the time he starts talking i guess..An avg 11yr old would not even have explored life that much to actually understand what to do with it..He would want to become anything and everything...Yes parents do have wishes hopes and dreams regarding their kids but they should allow sufficient breathing space for the kid to decide on his own abt his dreams and wishes and if need be willfully support him in attaining them..let him make his own mistakes and own up to it and not theirs and later blame others.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts are really appreciated sir.Your kid is lucky to have u as his father.
Thank U Shalia 4 Ur comments. Let us hope that OUR humble efforts would help at least few children to have sufficient breathing space to decide on their own about their dreams and wishes.
ReplyDeletedatz realy sw8 , n itz also true dat v sumtimes want dem 2 b wat v desire, bt ! sud choose d field which he/she is interested in..
ReplyDeleteThank U Shikha.Hope U would help Ur children to realize THEIR dreams.
ReplyDeletethis seems to be a tradition in our culture, the pressures of society and the competition to prodding our children to focus on a career path quickly and then go-go-go. it must be very difficult for parents to ease up and allow their kids to simply be kids and enjoy life. a childhood without worldly pressures seems important. in southern california, they are extending the school year, so my little nephew started school in the summer. this makes the parents feel better that their kids will be prepared. right now, his dream is to get away from all the homework he has:)
ReplyDeletenice to meet you. here from ruhl's place.
Thank you so much Ed for your comments.You are right. Parents are caught between the pressures of the society and the demands of their children. So sad that your nephew could not realize his immediate dream (!!
ReplyDeleteHope to interact more with you.With Regards