A spiritual guru when explaining about married life said that the affairs between a husband and wife starts from physical pleasure and excitement, then change in to affectionate love and finally reach the stage of undominating friendship.
But many married couples do not even reach the second stage described above. They become insensitive like machines after the initial excitement is over. For some unfortunate people life is like that of a football. A football cannot roll on its own but has to go the directions of the kicks by various feet. In the life game these unfortunate ones are kicked around and manipulated by people around them instead of letting them mature and take decisions of their own.
Recently I heard about one of my nephews and his wife whose life is jeopardised due to the immature approaches of the couple and the unnecessary interference of in- laws from both sides. My nephew is serving as a teacher in one of India’s most reputed public school and his wife is an engineering graduate. Just after 5 years of married life and with a son of 4 years, they are now entangled in a legal battle. They are separated for the last three months and he has filed a case in a court asking to direct her to live with him.
On hearing about their problem, I took the liberty of calling him immediately. I have little more right on my nephew as he was also my student. He narrated a list of complaints against her that forced him to seek the help of a Court. Then I contacted his wife, his father-in law, and his parents. His wife and father –in-law narrated a list of complaints against him and his parents. His father told that it is all due to ego problem and requested me to help them to solve the issues.
From the conversations with all of them I understood that basically they do not have any complicated issues between them. Most of their complaints are over trivial matters and could have been solved easily had they got some proper counselling from the elders. Unfortunately the problems were magnified by the family members.
I took the pain of talking to the couple separately for hours in three days and both of them were listening to my advice. He even agreed to withdraw the case from the Court. They were willing to forget their differences and get re-united.
All of a sudden came a shock in the form of her father’s ego. He has stopped his daughter from all communications. He wants his son- in -law to go to his home and talk to them in the presence of their lawyer. He doesn’t like my involvement in the matter as he feels that I am taking side with his son-in –law. The poor girl told me sadly “Brother, please do not get involved in this matter. My father might insult you badly”. I was so depressed and told her that I am not worried about her father’s action. But if she too doesn’t like my involvement, then I will not interfere any more. She replied that she has to obey her father as she is now staying with them. I told her with sympathy that it is her life and she should decide about her course of action. I also cautioned her that let it be Not too late to have a life of her own.
They are getting ready to fight in the court. But I am unable to explain how I feel for the 4 year old child who is deprived of his father’s love and care.
